EmBee (Miss Bollywood-dreams) nee EmBeeAye (Mrs. Bollywood-dreams’ Aftermath)
SRK: Sharif Romeo Kahin-ka
The perfect ‘match’
Circa 1996: Class 9; A starry eyed girl (EmBee).. her first movie out with friends (alone!)… no guesses – it was the legendary one that has a show running even in 2016!! The gang of girls goes crazy…starts seeking SRK…
EmBee knows this will be her story….
(Background song: Mere khwabon mein jo aaye)
SCENE 1: After a boring degree in a boring ‘aunties-only’ college in Rajasthan, EmBee is back to Pune; and burns some of her rich Marwari dad’s money to earn money later in life (read preparing for an MBA)..
Shayri in background …
“Aisa pehli baar hua hai 17-18 saalon mein…”
SCENE 2: Results out; and the lead heroine scores flying marks! Hands trembling, choked with emotion; Bauji on top of the world…
“Humari parvarish bekar nahi gayi!”
SCENE 3: College admission form filling: SRK meets EmBee – asks for score; ouch! The train moving out of the platform, he feels he will never board it! Unfortunately for EmBee he still manages jumping onto the last coach; and irritates her right at the journey’s commencement… “Tumhari aankhein mujhe kisi ki yaad dilati hai…”
(Background song: Ruk jaa O Dil Deewane…)
SCENE 4: Days pass: Embee forced lone company of SRK in projects and assignments; no choice…
“Bade, bade desho mein aisi choti choti batein hoti rehti hai, Senorita..”
…he saves her from cold (people) and all she does is, have a bottle of cognac and dance around…
“Tumhare jaisi ladki ke saath mere jaise ladke ka rehna zaroori hai”
(Background song: Zara sa Jhoom loon main..)
SCENE 5: Summer break. It has to be this! Only judaai makes her realise that he’s the one – the SRK of her life!
“Agar yeh tujhe pyaar karti hai to palat ke dekhegi”
(Background song: Ho gaya hai tujhko toh pyaar sajna..)
SCENE 6: Confessions amidst lush greens of Pune University…(No sarson ka khet here, but what the heck? Isn’t this good enough?)
(Background song: Tujhe dekha toh ye…)
SCENE 7: Degree done…Bauji’s duty: marrying EmBee off…Seeking the ‘perfect match’; read: RICH, educated, Marwari groom…and no, SRK is not Marwari! He ain’t rich either!
“Sapne dekho, zaroor dekho…bas unke poore hone ki shart mat rakho”
SCENE 8: SRK bumps into Bauji and Mom in the train (this is purely accidental): the good boy guides them in new city, polite and all…even drops them to destination! Bauji unimpressed (He does not meet selection criteria. Period)
SCENE 9: EmBee meets SRK after ages… Chutki witnesseth this…Chutki real-life is against the alliance (how unromantic!)… EmBee now getting impatient…list of probable grooms and meetings on the rise…
SCENE 10: Bauji discovers the romance, thanks to Chutki… And no, his favourite song is not ‘Ae Meri Zoharajabeen’.
EmBee tells SRK “Yahaan koi hamare pyaar ko nahi samjhega…bhaag chalte hain..”
But the Sharif Romeo Kahin-ka says no; filmy dialogbaazi..”Koi bhi ullu ka pattha sirf ek angoothi pehnakar tumko mujhse nahi cheen sakta”….
EmBee under house arrest …groom hunt now with double the efforts (and money)..
SCENE 11: Bauji’s search has paid off! A perfect groom for EmBee is here; and he hasn’t rejected her despite all her efforts! Sigh! EmBee miserable…
Enter SRK…loads of pleasing and pleading…
“…Toh kya hua agar tumhare chehre ke siva mujhe aur koi chehra dikhai nahi deta, toh kya hua agar yeh awara tumhe deewano ki tarah pyaar karta hai..pyar sab kuch toh nahi hota..”
SCENE 12: EmBee decides to take matters in her henna’ed hands…she elopes, writing a text message to her dear Bauji…
(Airport in background)…Sharif Romeo Kahin-ka does not let EmBee board the plane…
Bauji arrives at airport…Announcements done, boarding complete… Boarding pass in SRK’s hand…about to board
While EmBee’s hands in Bauji’s tight grip…EmBee pleading “Please Bauji…Please…”
Finally, Bauji relents…
“Ja Simran..jaa..jeele apni zindagi…ja beta ja..”
EmBee actually did not end up eloping. Bauji got her married to SRK in a beautiful ceremony in Rajasthan….It was here that EmBee finally became EmBeeAye.
DISCLAIMER – This work is based on true incidents. All characters, incidents appearing in this piece are almost real. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely intentional.…
No hard feelings against anyone…All is well that ends well.